Buns of Steel
by Falksi
Summary: What if torb and Genji were a real ship? Experience the full 2 am ride of terrible fanfiction and self-inflicted punishment as I realise I have a problem. I have to apoligise profusely to my dear friend who was the original victim of this, but they should keep in mind that it's their fault. Also torb is never capitalized, because small swedish men do not deserve big letters );
1. Chapter 1

torb looked at genji from where he sat, glad with the view as the cyborg man fended off attack after attack in front of him. Yes, it was indeed a marvelous sight. Sometimes he swore that he was born as diminutive as he was just for the purpose of attaining such views, although perhaps it was more so he could hide behind his turret if he were ever to be in danger. After everybody had either been brutally murdered with their own attacks or fled the scene, torb laughed his evil and heavily accented swedish laugh, holding a clawed arm out in what should have been a high five, if the small man had had 5 separate appendages on that arm. Genji turned around, and torb could hear the smile in his voice as he asked, "so, how was the view?" torb only wanted to smash that ass so he told the truth and said that if genji were slightly smaller and had two projectile launchers on his front, that he would enjoy the view much better. Genji realised that a turret shaped genji might not have been the best strategy for combat, but he indulged the man and switched into hyper-ultra genji HACHAA CORE 1000 mode. His body contorted into his true form, a level three turret with a fine fine set of molten cheeks on it's back and torb smashed it all day and all night until all the enemies shot themselves through their skulls without genji's help and torb decided that sleeptime was just as important as hammertime.

the end.


	2. Chapter 2- Ninja Torblets

torb and Genji had been together for a while, so close that some wondered if they were welded at the hip. torb was a master welder after all, and given his diminutively appropriate size and appreciation for his cyboyfriend's arse, it might not have been as unlikely as some imagined. One morning, however, there was a commotion in the thick silence of night, echoing across the entire watchpoint on Gibraltar and spooking a flock of seabirds that had thought the windowsill of the local cyborg would be a convenient place for a night's rest. Unsurprisingly, it had originated from the room of said cyborg himself. The uproar elicited immediate Overwatch protocal: mainly, get up and "Get Your Arse Outta There", mixed in (against Morrison's judgement, which he seemed eager to voice) with a "Grab Some Grub" and "Alcohol on Arms" from Jesse and Wilhelm.

While everyone struggled to find the remains of yesterday's meal and unbury their stashes of illegally smuggled in drinks, torb ran straight to Genji's room with no mind to the yells of caution that followed him. He didn't need protocol-Genji was in there and the sound had come from within the room, that much he could tell (as he was Genji's neighbour and sometimes roommate) and he could not abandon his metal boyfriend without assuring his safety.

When he entered the room, Genji was laying on the bed at the far end by the window. Everything seemed fine until torb took note of the awkward position his partner was in, legs spread out ahead like they were trying to encompass a rather large and nonexistent beach ball, and arms supporting his upper body with evident strain.

"Genji!" he called, even as another roar erupted. It was coming from the mouth of the man, even though the sound reminded him more of the screech that two hovercars made when their paths did not align and they met each other in a head-on collision. Genji hardly glanced over at him, a strain and slightly less silver pallor showing on his metal faceplate and body. torb ran toward the man, grasping his hand close, and saw what was the root of the chaos. Why Genji was where he was, making hovercar sounds as he was, and why there was suddenly a hunk of metal on the bed, radiating heat that torb could feel even while at a metre distance from it.

"M-m-my baby!"

There was not just one, but 6 torblets, a new spawn born of the fateful union of a weeby cyborg ninja and a grumpy swedish dwarf. torb gasped, pulling Genji's hand toward him in shock and, most disconcertingly, fear. Ninja torblets, as the legends told of them, were forces of nature, unbeatable in all fields of anime trivia and physical tasks. They had minds like whips, and their miniscule stature made it easy to slip around unnoticed and avoid direct hits from enemies. torb knew that he should be proud to have children as skilled as he was at doing absolutely nothing but sitting on their arse on the battlefield, but at the same time, the prospect of 6 new responsibilities when his turrets were already abused by enemies almost on a constant priority basis was terrifying. The 6 ninja torblets rolled out like riceballs onto the floor, piling into a tower of torblets, and that was when torb lost it, abandoning the Love of His Life to smash his hammer through Genji's window (and on his fine buns of steel while Genji was distracted, breathing heavily with his back to torb) and jump out the window into what awaited below, because what awaited below was undoubtably better than the hell he was leaving behind. The end.


End file.
